Friday, November 15, 2013

Glockin' Around The Christmas Tree at the Jingle Cruise


It’s that time of year again.  The weather gets a little bit colder.  The smell of gingerbread and peppermint floats through the air.  Adorned trees twinkle with lights in the night as green and red waters prominently color the rivers of the world.

Unfortunately not even during the Christmas season are our Hippo friends safe from their daily executions.  This season has become more dire as the Mouse recently unveiled a seasonal overlay called, The Jingle Cruise.  You may laugh at the name, but this overlay is no laughing matter.

The updated attraction poster plays up the holiday cheer and downplays the murder.

Since we at the AAHCS learned about this overlay late last month, we’ve had several teams investigating Disney’s ultimate end goal with this project.  Our findings couldn’t be any more repulsive. 

What Disney plans to do is kill even more hippos!

Since our organization became widely recognized among the Disney community in 2011, Disney has been doing everything in its power to keep the ride open and fuel its murderous compulsions.  Our followers have been very vocal and unrelenting in sending our message to the Mouse.  However the Disney marketing machine had a few tricks up its sleeve that we as an organization did not anticipate.
 
 
Their plan was to dress up the Jungle Cruise ride with cheerful Christmas decorations and witty Christmas puns, to overshadow the fact that they plan to kill more hippos this season than in seasons past.  The marketing boys in Burbank discovered by adding a holiday themed overlay to the attraction, daily ridership would increase dramatically.  As proven in the past by It’s a Small World and Haunted Mansion.  In doing so, they can now push more cruise boats down the river.  More boat captains would need to be brought in to meet the demands of the increased crowds clamoring to see the “limited time magic”.
 
With more boats prowling the rivers the time in between attacks has become much shorter.  Our hippo friends are now more vulnerable than ever.  What makes this news even worse is that this overlay not only affects the hippos of Anaheim.  The Magic Kingdom park in Orlando is also getting the Jingle Cruise update. 

At the AAHCS we will not stand for this!

Our hippo friends on both coasts are in serious need of our support.

We want a hippopotamus to not get shot for Christmas.
 
This is not an acceptable way to celebrate the Christmas season.
 
Thank you for your continued support and Hippo Holidays from all of us here at the AAHCS!

Caitlin Wahlstrom
Co-Founder

Jeremy Kohrs
Co-Founder

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Disney Uses Cars as Cover-up for CARNAGE!



The Mouse House has been busy lately.  As many of you may know this weekend marks the public unveiling of the new expansions at the Disney California Adventure park in Anaheim.  We at the AAHCS would under normal circumstances welcome these enhancements, but we have gotten wind of a story that makes the expansion project much more sinister.

Many of you know John Lasseter as the man who directed the Toy Story and Cars franchises for Pixar Animation Studios, of which he was one of the founding members.  Over the past few years he has also taken on the role of Principal Creative Advisor at Walt Disney Imagineering.  But what you may not know is that Mr. Lasseter has a dark past that makes him public enemy #1 to the AAHCS...

He was a Jungle Cruise Skipper Hippo MURDERER!



Now they naysayers will state,"But he is a changed man.  It's been over 20 years since he held that job."  And while we at the AAHCS would like to believe that sentiment, we did some digging and discovered a vile plan that traces the expansion plans of the California Adventure Park back to the daily killings of Animatronic Hippos!

The California Adventure Park since opening in 2001 has been a disappointment among the fan community.  It was built on the cheap, was very uninspired, and failed to bring in the huge crowd levels the big wigs in Anaheim had originally anticipated.  In 2006 Disney bought Pixar and through that acquisition brought Lasseter back into the fold.  It was then that he began working with Imagineering on plans to boost attendance, with his own desires at the heart of it.  A year later in 2007 the plans were announced to the public as a multi-year expansion with a projected budget of $1.1 billion.

The highlight of the expansion was an all new land based on Lasseter's film Cars. The popularity of that brand was sure to be a huge draw, which is just what they wanted.  The park which had been struggling for so long would finally we getting the tickets sales it needed but John Lasseter would also be getting something in return.

Since his leaving Disney John has often mentioned how he missed being a Jungle Cruise Skipper.  With his new found celebrity, due to his creations at Pixar, it was obvious that he wouldn't be able to cruise the rivers of the world and shoot hippos without making headlines.  This is where Carsland comes into play.  With everyone flocking to California Adventure to see the new expansions, Disneyland becomes a ghost town.  Now John Lasseter is free to take up his old habits and shoot hippos without negative repercussions from the media!

We at the AAHCS have worked too hard to let this happen.  But we need your help!  We need all of our Hippo Heroes to stay vigilant, and help to keep Adventureland free of John Lasseter's tyrannical reign of terror.  If you see him take evidence and notify us at the AAHCS at once.  This summer is crucial in our fight to save our Animatronic Hippo friends.  Please join us.


Thank you for your continued support!

Caitlin Wahlstrom
Co-Founder

Jeremy Kohrs
Co-Founder




Tuesday, February 21, 2012

New Developments

This last weekend was without a doubt a very busy weekend for us at the AAHCS.  We've made progress while also adding to our list of enemies.

This past weekend a very special event was held at Six Flags Magic Mountain, in Valenica, CA.  However, due to conflicts in scheduling, an AAHCS representative was not present to document the event.  Robb Alvey, owner of Theme Park Review and loyal supporter of the AAHCS was on hand to document the festivities. 

"Well it was epic.  They brought out their old animatronic
hippo from the Granny Grand Prix ride.  We had a ceremony,
and released it into the wild."
- Robb Alvey


We also recently received an anonymous tip from our secret informant Christopher Lundy.  He reported to us that the Jungle Cruise attraction has aquired a new sponser.  Current Jungle Cruise Murderers Skippers are now using the following in their spiel...


"The Jungle Cruise has been brought to you today by the Hippo
Farmers of America.  Hippo: The other-other white meat."


We here at the AAHCS are appalled, as usual, by Disney's corporate greed.  We did some digging and were horrified to find that through their deal with the HFA, Disney is being supplied with hippo meat product which is unknowingly being served in the parks!  It is sickening that hippos both real and animatronic have such little meaning to these corporate bureaucrats.

The next disturbing bit of news was uncovered via Disney's own facebook page. 



Famous Hollywood actor, Seth Rogen, is now on file saying he "...wanted to be the guy who ran the Jungle Cruise, and shoot cap guns at animals."

We find it sickening that our culture has become so desensitized to violence toward animatronic animals. With Seth Rogen willing to be their poster-boy, it's only a matter of time before Hollywood begins to cash in on this trend.   Instead of Observe and Report, Pineapple Express, and Zach and Miri Make a Porno we'll begin seeing films like Observe and Shoot, Pineapple Whip, yum... no wait... Kill Hippo Express, and Zach and Miri Shoot a Hippo.

Finally, Knott's Berry Farm held a press conference last Sunday during which the following question was asked...  (Skip ahead to 24:40 mark)



It troubles us that Knott's representatives handled the question in such a light-hearted way.  The situation of our hippo friends has never been so dire.  The time for laughing is over.  We need to roll up our sleeves and get to work for this cause before it is too late.

Thank you for your continued support!

Caitlin Wahlstrom
Co-Founder

Jeremy Kohrs
Co-Founder

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

A Christmas Message from AAHCS





The holidays are meant to be a season of joy and giving. Unfortunately, more recently it has become a time of stress and selfishness. We here at AAHCS would like to remind all of you to not lose sight of what is truly important this Christmas... Animatronic Hippos.

Awareness of this dire situation has been waning as of late and the AAHCS would like to ensure that our loyal supporters never forget- the animatronic hippos of America STILL need your help! While you sit in front of a warm fire opening gifts this Christmas, please remember that our hippo friends are out in the cold jungle waters still being attacked every ten minutes.

AAHCS thanks all of you, our supporters, for raising awareness in your communities. If you haven't yet, please consider donating to our cause by purchasing an AAHCS t-shirt. They make GREAT stocking stuffers!

AAHCS Wishes You a HIPPO HOLIDAY!

Thank you for your continued support!

Caitlin Wahlstrom
Co-Founder

Jeremy Kohrs
Co-Founder

Saturday, October 8, 2011

New Society Forming With Intent to Massacre Hippos

In the weeks following the release of our PSA, we here at the AAHCS have seen a significant increase in awareness for our cause.  Many of you have given your time and money to help these beautiful animatronic creatures.  We thank you all for your support thus far.

But in the past few days, it has been brought to our attention that an organization has formed to oppose us.  They call themselves the Homeland Anti Hippo Association (HAHA).  They advocate for the intentional murders of animatronic hippos.  Despite their humorous name, we take their threats against hippos very seriously.  Below is their recent horrifying ad, viewer discretion is advised.



This ad is blatant fear-mongering propoganda. It promotes the idea that animatronic hippo killing is a socially acceptable activity by demonizing these innocent creatures.

The idea that animatronic hippos are dangerous is absurd.  The hippos themselves are bolted to the ground beneath the water.  They have no where to run to when the Jungle Cruise Skippers sail past in  their boats.  The Skippers know that they will be there and they take full advantage of the hippos adverse environment.  They are forced to endure torture from Skippers on a daily basis with no means of escape.  That is the true essence of cruelty.

In the video their "so called" scientist claims that, "Hippos are made entirely of evil... and food." While this claim may be true for live hippos, when used in reference to animatronic hippos this statement is FALSE!  Animatronic hippos are made entirely of hydraulics and fiberglass.  Get your facts straight Dr. Squirtems!!!

As a supporter of the AACHS, do not believe their lies!  Animatronic hippos are endangered.  If this slaughter continues,  our grandchildren may not have the opportunity to see these magnificent creatures in their natural habitat.  Help us to preserve the animatronic hippos of the Jungle Crusie for future generations.

Thank you for your continued support!

Caitlin Wahlstrom
Co-Founder

Jeremy Kohrs
Co-Founder

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Protest Song Inspired By The AAHCS

Our recent "Save the Animatronic Hippos" campaign has garnered some celebrity interest. I don't think there is anyone out there who hasn't heard of famed humanitarian/singer/songwriter Johnny V. He has taken it upon himself to write a song for animatronic hippo awareness. We hope that it tugs on your heartstrings as much as it did ours.  Enjoy.




Thank you for your continued support!

Caitlin Wahlstrom
Co-Founder

Jeremy Kohrs
Co-Founder

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

A "Thank You" to our Supporters



We here at the AAHCS are deeply touched by the amazing response all have shown towards our cause. We would like to show our appreciation by featuring some of the most touching words from our supporters on our website.

One of our most loyal followers, Shelby of MYWTM has written a heartfelt post showing her support for animatronic hippo conservation. She has shown an ongoing interest in our organization and has gone great lengths to do her part in saving our animatronic hippo friends. Thank you, Shelby!

Some of our YouTube commenters have had these amazing things to say:

swstryker says: "This is the best PSA I have ever seen! I was overwhelmed with emotion at the thought of how these poor hippos have been treated all these years. Like most victims, they must live in silence, not daring to speak up for fear of painful reprisal. Something must be done now! I am so glad you and your courageous organization has finally given these poor creatures a voice. The bloodshed must end in our lifetime, otherwise what will be left for future generations? Fight on AAHCS! Fight on!"

lundopictures says: "It's really a crime and a tragedy the way these hippos are treated. Those skippers should be thrown over Schweitzer Falls and held under the backside of water." (NOTE: AAHCS does NOT condone violence towards Jungle Cruise skippers. However, we do tolerate joking about it.)

On MiceChat our supporters had this to say:

Nancy Carey says: "Thank you for bringing to light a situation we all too often take for granted. Save the hippos."

Director_Guy says: "Great video. Y'know, I don't think a lot of people know this kind of thing is happening. Let's hope this helps to spread the word. Save the hippos!"

Dustysage says: "This is a very important topic. Thank you for your hard work in helping to save the hippos. I'm most worried about the ones in the trees they keep shooting at. So far to fall, so far to fall. . ."

Theme Park Review users also showed their support with these words:

XII says: "This PSA really moved me. I have $50 ready to donate to help save these animatronic hippos."

DerekRx says: "I can't believe how cruel people can be. Your efforts are amazing, simply amazing. I wish there was more I could do for these poor hippos, they're just gentle giants. Curse you, Disney!"

donkeyman18 says: "I cant believe such cruel people would use this as entertainment our hippos here at magic kingdom are being taken out one by one i was proud to donate to this cause we shall save the hippos!"

ANJLOVER14 says: "That really changed me. The hippos are taken out each day, and guests ride through without a clue of the murder and sinning they are witnessing!! $50 on its way!!"


Again, AAHCS thanks you all from the bottom of our hippo-loving hearts. All we ask is that you continue spreading the word and get this extremely important message to everyone you know. As Director_Guy says on Theme Park Review, we need to give "a voice to the voiceless."

Thank you for your continued support!

Caitlin Wahlstrom
Co-Founder

Jeremy Kohrs
Co-Founder

(Thanks to XII of TPR for his hippo picture.)